#Tovah Reads- Outliers

I recently finished the book, Outliers, by Maxwell Gladwell. This book had been recommended to me in one of those "hey, I'm looking for a new book. What should I download?" Posts on Facebook. I'm always interested in personal development. I hadn't read his other books yet, even the more famous Tipping Point.

When I started this book, I had just finished a memoir, and I was looking for something new. So, it's about seven or eight hours long on Audible. I though "oh well that's totally doable. It can't be that bad, it's not that long." I have to say, this book was, the best way I can describe it, an absolute delight. I thoroughly enjoyed this book, and in fact I could have kept listening to this book for much longer than the book went, simply because it was filled with fascinating story, after fascinating story. 

It was just one continuous discussion of taking how we look at the world, or look at something, and how perhaps we should be looking at it. Perhaps the statistics that we're looking at, should be looked at them from a different angle. Perhaps someone succeeded, not in spite of something, or in spite of a awful experience, but because of it. At first, so much of the book was focused on opportunity, and some people having opportunities that other people hadn't. But in many cases, the opportunities weren't these huge, sweeping things of parents being wealthy, or these certain experiences, but they were subtler opportunities. Someone saying "yes".  Often it came down to the successful person having the stability to get someone else to say "yes".

I don't know that really the whole impact of the book has totally sunk in yet. One definite takeaway, perhaps my main takeaway, is something he said at the very beginning, which is "there really aren't people who just luck-out and make it big without hard work. And vice versa, there aren't people that work really, really hard for years, and years, and years toiling away, that don't have success." All of the opportunities in the world will not do anything, if you're not working really hard.

He talked about the Beatles, he talked about Bill Gates and Bill Joy. None of these people, or groups would have had the success they had without opportunity, and none of them would have the success they had without, without working very, very hard.  The book made me want to work hard, hustle more. It made me want to find my own opportunities, figure out how to make opportunities. It also made me think about the responsibility I have to make opportunities for other people, but when can I say "yes" to other people? When can I help other people? So they can look back and say "well, it was when Tovah said yes, that was a turning point. That was when all my hard work started to pay off."  Now I'm not just looking for my own opportunities but for the opportunity to say YES.

Fascinating book. Totally intriguing, inspiring. Once again, it just makes your brain work in a different way than it's use to working, so I would highly recommend Outliers. 

Have you read any other Malcolm Gladwell's Books?

Do you have a favorite?

xoxo,

Tovah

Why I LOVE my BOD!

Haha.  I tricked you.  Okay I didn't trick because I do love my BOD, just a different BOD than you're thinking of.   I thought it was time that I really tell you all about Beachbody On Demand All Access because I keep talking about it and posting about it, but I don't actually tell you what it is. 

Beach Body On Demand is this thing, okay not a good start. It's an app on my phone. It's a website I can go to on my computer. It's an app on my Roku, the little way I make my computer talk to the Internet. That's about as technologically advanced as I know it is. It is an app that I can go to. It's great. Up until recently, it had a quarterly fee. 

I got a bunch of workouts. I got any workouts that I ever bought, like T25 and 21 Day Fix and other ones, P90x. It had all those workouts plus it had some bonus workouts like Rockin' Abs. Shawn T Hip Hop Abs, Rockin' Abs from way back when. It was great. It was a good deal. I didn't have to worry about my kids scratching DVDs anymore. I didn't have to worry about losing DVDs. It was all right there on my TV or on my phone or whatever I needed. Wonderful.

Then they brought us All Access Beachbody On Demand. Let me tell you a little bit about All Access Beachbody On Demand. It is access to every single workout that Beach Body has ever, ever produced. Every, single one. Every, single one. You know when you get those DVDs and they're like, "And for another $35, you can get two bonus workouts," and you're like, "Yeah I'm not spending $35 for two bonus workouts." Well, those bonus workouts are here. P90X3, 21 Day Fix, 21 Day Fix Extreme, T25, Core to Force.

The workout comes out it's included. It's everything. All access. Every, single thing. It would be like getting a gym membership and then signing up for all of the courses. It's even workouts that you don't even know exists.  They did a show called The Twenties and they were picking out a new Beach Body trainer and it was really exciting. I'll admit, I didn't watch the show, but all of the workouts attached to those trainers are there. These great 20 minute workouts. 

There are three prenatal and one postnatal workout. There's just a ton of stuff. The new Shift Shop?  Its there.  The new workout coming in the fall?  It will be there.  Now you can get All Access Beachbody on Demand for ONE WHOLE YEAR plus Shakeology for a month for $160.  What, the what??  Yes, I'm serious.

I know that sounds like a ton. Totally sounds like a ton to me, except that it's a full year.  All the new workouts coming out this year you get access to, plus a big old bag or 24 little bags, of Shakeology. It's yours. Done. Yours. That's normally on its own, with shipping and everything, it's about $146. Just the bag of Shakeology, no workouts, is $146. The bag of Shakeology with all of the workouts, like I said, every, single workout you get for $160.

That's why it's a big deal. We have an ongoing online accountability group ready to help you when you're ready to be helped.  So I say get it now and pick out your workout. You literally can pick out any and every workout.  There are also workouts made exclusively just for BOD. Workouts that you've never seen before. You can do a whole program. You get the nutrition guides. You get the guide that says, "Do this workout on this day. Do this workout on this day," or you could literally just do whatever you want. What's nice is, halfway through the year you're like, "You know. This martial arts was great but now I want to do T25." Great. You have it. Or, "Oh I love that new workout that's coming out." Great. You have it.

No more spending money for the rest of the year, unless you want more Shakeology.  (Which you probably will.) Then last but not least.  The big bonus is I am cleaning out my closet and I have a ton of DVDs and Fixate cookbooks.  Anyone who signs up with the Beach Body On Demand All Access with Shakeology can get either a bonus workout DVD or the Fixate cookbook. Your Choice. 

It is like an absurd bang for your buck. That's all for now!  

Who is READY to JOIN me?

xoxo, 

Tovah

Non-Candy Valentine's Day School Treats

It is that time of year again.  Chocolate time.  I mean Valentine's Day.  Yes, I'm the not cool mom that sends non-candy snacks to school for Valentine's Day treats.  I found a few fun options and I figured I'd share them all here in case you need ideas.  Enjoy!  

(and let me know if  you have other ideas.)

Some Bunny Loves You at the Idea Room

You're Awesome Some by Creating Really Awesome Fun Things

Say Cheez by Crafty Morning

Color My World Valentine by Crazy Little Projects

You're My Main Squeeze by Funky Polka Dot Giraffe

You are the Raisin I'm Smiling by Bargain Briana

Word of the Year

I admit I have been spending months thinking about my word of the year.  Every time I thought of the word, engage, I thought, this is such a great word, the best word.  How will I ever think of a better word?  And yet I have come across a word that I feel is to be a fantastic word for me this year.  This word has many meanings.  They don't all apply but it works for me.  It is going to keep me FOCUSED.  It is going to keep me DEDICATED.  It is going to keep me BRAVE.

I have incredibly big goals this year.  Scary big.  The good kind of scary big.  I feel as though this is a turning point year and I'm ready to make a huge leap.  It means I am going to be saying YES to a lot of things that are really important to me and it is going to mean I have to say NO so many things too.

I will admit this past year, specifically the past few months, threw me for a loop.  It made me wonder if I was on the right path.  If my goals for myself and my family aligned best with what I thought of as my civic responsibility.  Was I doing enough?  Was I working for the greater good?  It made me throw myself into so many ventures that only now am I going through all of my commitments and actually figuring out what I can do.  Which leads me to my word of the year.

to bind or obligate, as by pledge or assurance; pledge.

to entrust, especially for safekeeping; commend.

When I set out for a goal I am going to COMMIT to that goal.  I will finish everything that I start this year.  If I don't think I can or if I don't want to finish it I won't start it.  Like I said, I might be saying NO more but it means that my YES will be stronger.  My YES will mean I am there 100 percent.  

This means I am going to be dedicated to my work and my business.  I am dedicated to watching it grow. I am dedicated to my customers and challengers.  I have serious goals and intentions for my business and I intend to see these goals reached.  I am committed to them.

Our family is complete.  This is the first year in a long time that I am sure of the next step.  There are 5 of us.  We are whole.  We are ready to move forward into the future as a family.  No more waiting for one more.  I am committed to both my role as a mother and committed to my role as a wife.

By choosing this word I am not just planning on thinking of this word each morning but also thinking of questions that I will ask throughout the year.  Can I commit to this?  By committing to this am I helping my pursuit to be my best self?  The best mother I can be.  The best wife I can be.  The best coach I can be.  

I am really excited to what can happen this year.  Thank you so much for sharing your word of the year.  I see big things for all of us this year!

Lets get to it!

Your Holiday Survival Guide

The next two weeks are filled with fun, stress, fun, food, and perhaps a little more stress.  The best chance we have, I think, of getting out of it happy and joyful are to follow a few tiny tips.  Here are my top ten healthy holiday eating tips to help get you through the holidays:

1. Set goals.  First things first – think about what you want to achieve. Where you want to be. How you want to feel.  Do you want to look back and think, “I never met a Christmas cookie I didn’t like”? Or do you want to think, “I had a season of moderation.”  There is no wrong answer.  Just set those goals, and figure out how to achieve them.  If you do have aspirational goals you want to accomplish over the next few weeks, WRITE THEM DOWN and put them somewhere that you will see them every day, like on your bathroom mirror or refrigerator door.  Even better, write them down and TELL SOMEONE. 
2. Drink water.  Water is an amazing, filling, and calorie-free drink.  Drink 1 glass of water when you wake up each day, 1 glass of water before you go to sleep each night, and 2 glasses of water before you feast.  It will help curb your appetite and keep you hydrated, which is great for keeping your body running on strange food and less sleep, which brings me to my next tip . . . 
3. Sleep.  Very few people get enough sleep in the best of times, but come the holiday season, we all cut into our sleep to gain extra time (she says while typing this way past her bedtime).  However, it’s sleep that will keep you feeling fresh and stress-free when you are in line at a store with hungry kids at the end of the day.
4. Make a plan for the party.  There are so many ideas about how to approach a party, but the key is to have a plan.  A good start is to never go to a party hungry.  (Perhaps a nutrient dense shake would help curb your appetite.)  Fill at least half of your plate with foods from the veggie tray to keep away from the bacon-wrapped cheese.  Grab a smaller plate and fill that baby up – since it’s smaller, you’re already ahead of the game.  Take a healthy dish to potluck parties so you know at least one thing is good for you.  
5. Don’t drink your calories.  But you love eggnog?  But you love champagne?  Great!  Drink it up.  Just don’t drink it all the time, every day.  Oh and those yummy, delicious, sugar-filled lattes?  Treat yourself to one.  Or two.  Just not one or two every single day.  
6. Enjoy your food.  Wait, what?!  You just said to eat less on teeny, tiny plates and only drink water. Well, not really, but the fact is this lovely holiday season only comes around once a year.  Enjoy it!  Make a list of your favorite treats and let yourself enjoy each one once or twice rather than every day.  Eat only what you think you can’t – or don’t want to – live without.  Your Aunt’s favorite dessert that she only makes once a year? Definitely. A roll? Not unless it’s the best holiday roll ever and you only get it once a year.  It’s all about balance.  And speaking of balance . . . 
7. Eat normally.  That’s right; when you’re not at a party, eat normally. If that means you eat healthy, then please do eat healthy.  Even better, make healthy substitutions when you’re cooking whenever possible. Don’t skip meals.  Just eat your food, fuel your body, and keep moving.
8. Keep moving.  Stick to your exercise schedule.  If you’re taking a break from training, then keep moving every day in some way or another.  Plan to get in an early morning walk or workout before the day gets busy, or plan an after-dinner evening walk.  No excuses.  If you can’t get a 3-mile run in, get in a 10-mile walk.  If you can’t get your 60-minute body beast session in, do a mini at-home workout.  Heck, if you’re really desperate, park far away from the entrance from the mall when you’re shopping.  
9. Take time.  Whether it is 5 minutes for a daily practice like reading, meditating, or stretching, or just a few stolen moments of quiet time to yourself, take it!  If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times.  You can’t pour from an empty cup.  Make sure you have something left to give by taking time for yourself. 
10. Enjoy yourself.  Do not stress yourself out.  One piece of cake does not a huge weight gain make.  Moderation is the key in December, just as it’s the key every day of the year.  Keep your accomplishments in mind, as well as your goals.  Don’t waste your time weighing yourself – just keep an eye on making sure your clothes still feel comfortable.  If you’re tempted to go over what you planned, reach out to a buddy or a friend who knows your goals and will help you achieve them. That’s what friends are for: both sharing an appetizer and walking away from one. 

Your Guide to Holiday Prep Without the Hassle

Are you ready for Christmas?

I absolutely love the time of year between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve. From getting to spend time with my family and kids to going through our different holiday traditions, it’s one of my favorite times of year. 

But it can also be pretty stressful. 

I used to spend a lot of that time running around like a crazy person. Between Christmas shopping and trying to spend time with my family from all over, it was really insane. I loved it, but it was stressful! I mean, there were several years when I was still in a mall shopping on Christmas Eve, which isn’t exactly ideal for fostering the Christmas spirit. And that was even before I had kids!

At some point, I realized there had to be a better way. So I came up with several strategies for getting organized for the holiday season and they totally tamed the chaos. I’ll be going into more detail in the weeks to come, but here’s an overview of how to get started prepping for the holidays.

• Prep early! I like to do a lot of my holiday prep in November, when my calendar isn’t nearly as jam packed. That way, when the holiday season is in full swing, I am free to enjoy my favorite parts of it – like going to see Christmas lights with my kids and reading Christmas books – without worrying about all the work I still have to do. And, if you’ve knocked off most of your to-do-list ahead of time, you can be more spur-of-the-moment when the opportunity arises, like watching that Christmas movie you stumbled upon on the Hallmark Channel, or even taking a short Christmas vacation.

• Keep (and review) a holiday journal. Collect and organize your holiday ideas year-round. You can use a notebook, a Google Doc, a Pinterest board, or whatever works for you. I love using my Pinterest board and making categories for various holiday-related things I like to do, like cookie swaps and Thanksgiving food. But your idea log is only useful if you remember to review it at the very beginning of the holiday season, lest those aspirations wither in cyberspace. So when you’re ready to get started on your holiday planning, go through all your saved ideas and make a new list (or Pinterest board) of the ones you want to actually do this year.

• Think through your planned activities. When I’m sitting down and scheduling things, I always force myself to really think about whether it will be a good experience for my family and me. For example, I’ve learned that wrapping Christmas presents with my kids is pretty stressful, so I set aside a couple of evenings after their bedtime to pour a glass of wine and get wrapping on my own. But everyone has a blast decorating the Christmas tree together, so I plan that as a Saturday afternoon family affair. 

• Consider where you want to be spending your time. There are only so many days in the holiday season, so we have to pick and choose what to do with our precious time. I always save a little “me time” during this period. Having a pedicure is my little reward for getting all the prep work done, and I truly enjoy reading certain books during the holidays, like Pride and Prejudice and Little Women. Also think about the organizations you’re involved in and whether you want to participate in any of their holiday events, like a cookie swap or cocktail party. And if you’re in a relationship, you might want to plan some quality time with your special person.

• Set a budget and plan to save. Regardless of the size of your budget, it’s always smart to make conscious decisions about how much you want to spend on gifts, food, travel, decorations, etc., and, if necessary, make a plan for saving that money ahead of time. Thinking through where you want to spend your dollars usually leads to more thoughtful gift-giving and less buyer’s remorse when post-holiday reality sets in.

• Don’t forget about your health. It’s easy to neglect your health during this time of year, but that just leaves you starting off the New Year with more work to do. So take some time to think about how you can keep yourself feeling good. For me, it’s about not eating too much sugar, but I do love to bake, so I share the treats with others. I also never miss workouts during the holidays. The exact steps will vary from person to person, but the important thing is to make a plan that you can actually stick with. Modest and doable is better than aspirational and unrealistic.

• Talk about traditions. Holiday traditions are great, but sometimes we just do things because we’ve always done them. Sit down with your family/spouse/friends and talk about what you actually want to do. One decision-making trick is to have everyone list the top three things they’d be disappointed if they didn’t do, and then only do those. If any of the things on the list are really stressful, like cutting down your own tree, brainstorm a good substitute, like taking a family trip to pick out the tree and stopping for hot apple cider on the way home.  

I always find that planning ahead really lets you make the most of the holiday season. It’s a time investment up front that gives you the freedom to spend your time doing whatever you want once the season is upon us. Do you have tips and tricks for making the holidays less stressful? Share them in the comments below!

Where you lead Subbers, I will follow: A very long race recap that spans decades.

My "I eat hills for breakfast" face.

To truly tell the story of this past race I need to go back a little bit, about 25 years to be exact.  Okay, maybe that's a slight exaggeration but not too much.  You see about 25 years ago, I met my best friend Annie.    That's a good story but not the point of this post.  The point is that about 23 years after that she invited me to be a Beachbody coach.  Also not the point of this post but I'm getting there.  My goal as coach is to help as many people as possible which means that I need to know as many people as possible.  So unlike before I was a coach where I would show very little interest in those "suggested groups" along the side of Facebook now I started joining those groups.  One such group was this little running group (my first running group) called the Sub-30 Club.  I didn't really know its purpose or much about it.  I actually didn't really know what an online running group could add to my life.  I joined anyway.  It was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

I know so many people view social media so negatively and perhaps I should.  Instead though I view social media through the rose colored glasses of a Sub-30 member.  I know the power of an amazing online community.  Let me explain.  So I joined this group.  I would chat with some folks.  Read stories.  Learn some things. Find inspiration.  On one such tour of the group I saw that they all go together to run at the Runner's World Fest.  Interesting I thought...I of course can't run with a group.  I'm too slow.  Its too hilly.  No way.  On another post someone asked about yoga suggestions and cross training suggestions.  I said, PiYo is pretty awesome.  So we started chatting.  Then we became "friends".  Then she tried PiYo and Shakeology and became a coach like me.  Then 18 months later, yesterday, we ran a race together.  And now finally I'm at my race recap...no wait.  A little more background.

Last year, 5 months pregnant I drug my mom and two kids to cheer on my friends from my phone as they ran a 5k and 10k.  Kara, a real life friend was there (yes, I added her to the crazy group) and she ran the half marathon the next day.  After seeing this group.  Seeing the love.  The support.  After showing my sons that finishing a race at all is just as important as winning race I signed up to run the half marathon, 1 year later.  I figured heck, I'll have a baby but I know I won't be in the Back of the Pack alone.  I have people.  I have a tribe.

Before every race I insist on being interviewed by Runner's World, don't you?

So we finally come to yesterday.  7 months after having a baby.  More nervous than I thought I would be.  In the last week I remembered that my last half wasn't exactly awesome.  I lost my phone.  I had tummy troubles.  I was suddenly so nervous.  The only thing I knew.  I mean really knew in my heart was that I could finish anything I started.  I am tough.  I've run marathons.  I've had 3 babies without drugs.  I'm a boy mom.  13.1 miles has nothing on me.  Plus, you know, I trained.  A lot.  Yet I was sooooo nervous.  I started to go to bed early this week.  Made sure I healthy carb loaded (harder to do on Whole 30 than I would have thought).  Then the morning was here.  After waking up 2 minutes before my alarm because of a stressful dream where I actually missed the race, got the boys out and in the car, got my husband up and we headed to Bethlehem.  I nursed the baby, helped dress the boys and headed out to find a bathroom.  My husband took the boys to feed them and show them our college and I was on my own....sort of.  After the bathroom (runners understand how important this is) I found the race and was almost immediately interviewed by Runner's World.  (You know, like I start all my races.)

Amber and I finally meet in real life!

And do you know who was waiting for me as soon as the interview was over?  That woman who I suggested try out PiYo.  Well, her and about 100 of my phone friends.  So after months of training we started running.  2 minutes running, 1 minute walking for 13.1 miles.  We did just about whatever Mr. Garmin told us to do with only a few revolts when we wanted to run more downhill and walk more uphill.  We picked up a few awesome friends and told them about our most amazing running group.   We had amazing subbers running us up hills.  They fed us candy.  They cheered us on.  We passed people.  We were passed.  We got some "free high fives".  We were cheered by folks.  We cheered our water hander-outers.  We thanked police officers.  We saw Jesus.  Pretty much just another half marathon.  

Here we come!  Our merry band of runners!

Our little group of 3 became 4, then 5 then we merged with another group to be 8 and somehow added one more and finished as 9.  9 plus the subbers who came down the end of the course to run us home.  And you would think, or I would have told you that a 14 min 30 second pace would leave you alone at the end of the race.  We were not only not alone we cheered so loudly.  So very, very loud.  We were not alone.  It felt like they were all just waiting for us to come.  So of course we gave them all high fives.  

When I saw all my people cheering us.

High five for everyone!  Amber's first half and she's looking awesome!

 Then as quickly as it started the race was over.  I waved to my oldest son as I ran by him and he came looking for a hug as I crossed the finish line.  That moment.  His hug.  His smile.  While I didn't win the race, he was pretty excited that I got a medal.  I found my family or rather they found me and we sat down.  (Because pretty much the last thing that I should have done as soon as I finished the half was sit down, but you know, the baby had to be nursed.  Priorities, people.)  And with that we headed home.  The race was over.  I had no goal with the race but to finish and have fun.  Mission accomplished.

Now just one more note.  If you know me, and many of you do.  You know I don't ever or rarely post pictures of myself below my shoulders.  My body is a work in progress and I suppose it always will be.  This is not the most flattering of pictures and yet I would share this photo with anyone.  The woman in the picture, had a baby 7 months ago, nursed a baby, ran 13.1 miles, then nursed a baby again.  And I pretty sure she did it smiling.  I could not be prouder of this body.  It's amazing what your body can do when your mind knows it won't take no for an answer.

So that's my race recap that spanned about 25 years.  Perhaps a slightly long recap.  The post recap is this:  I was already looking for my next race with my tribe last night.  Where you lead subbers, I will follow.  Winter, Spring, Summer, or Fall.  All you have to do is call.  I'm proud, honored and really lucky to live in a world where no subber is left behind.

No subber ever left behind.

Designing our summer

Summer is a state of mind. 

The other day I was listening to the Happier Podcast which is a total favorite of mine.  Gretchen and her sister Elizabeth were talking about designing their own personal summer.  Whether it meant weekly outdoor lunches or designating extra time to read.  It made me think about our families summer.  Somehow it comes and goes so quickly and come the end of August there are so many things I wish we did.  This year we're not taking a vacation so day to day treats, road trips and adventures are really going to be what our summer is all about.  And because we all know I LOVE a good to do list that's how I'm organizing our summer design.  Each day I've been asking the boys what they want to do this summer and so far our list is pretty short.

1.  Beach
2.  Fair
3.  Rita's
4.  Ice Cream Truck
5.  Liberty Science Center
6.  Play in a creek and cool watermelon in the creek.  Then eat the watermelon!
7.  Camp out in the back yard
8.  Ice cream sundae night
9.  Spend a morning at the board walk
10.  Watch local minor league baseball

Now the beach is really one with many sub parts because its go to the beach with a lot of people.  Either way we're looking for little moments to make big memories.  One of my favorite days ever was a one day trip to Block Island.  It was in September on a beautiful day with my husband (then boyfriend) and it wasn't perfect but the memory has this wonderful glow to it.  It really doesn't take big week long trips to make memories. We're going to make them one moment at a time.

Do you and your family have a favorite summertime activity?  The simpler the better!

Life Changing Laundry

Life changing.  Those are the words I think of after what will be known as my laundry revolution.  I'm one week in so I suppose we really need to wait at least a month make a full analysis but I'm giving a big thumbs up to this.  I decided to wash, dry, fold and put away one load of laundry per day.  Not necessarily the same load.  Something might get put away in the morning and something else get washed and dried at night.  Its not a 100% perfect system but it does few things for me.

• Makes me feel like I'm doing laundry all the time.  On the one hand this is bad thing.  On the other this is perfect because I always feel like I'm on top of things.
•  It takes significantly less time to do.  I fold a little here and put a little away and I'm finished.
• I'm no longer carrying huge HUGE amounts of laundry up and down the stairs.
• To that end a load of laundry is an actual load of laundry as opposed to be jamming multiple loads into the washing machine at one time.  (I'm sure my future laundry repair man appreciates this.)
• Things in my house are much cleaner.  I don't have enough each day for a full load so towels and sheets are getting washed much more frequently.  Lets be honest they are probably just being watched a frequently as they should be.  

I need to get in some sort for schedule so I'm not randomly washing sheets and towels but I am definitely onto something with this.

Send me your laundry hacks and tips so I can step up my game!

My 2016 To-do List

Okay, this is beyond embarrassing.  I'm miss, set goals, gof or it and it is March 1st and I still haven't written all of my goals down and I started this before January 1st.  Aaaahhh....so back where I started.

This to do list is particularly exciting for me to put together.  Last year I was a little lost when it came to this sort of thing.  My husband wasn't overly happy with his occupation and we were sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop to see what what happened.  We were also undecided as to whether we were going to go for a third child.  So as much as I loved 2015's to do list it was a little sketchy.  This year however is launching us into the new world.  My husband has started his own general contracting business and we're expecting our third child in any day now.  

(One of the reasons that I was dragging my feet on this was simply because I couldn't figure out how to organize it...duh.  Just do it.  Its a to-do list for heaven's sake.)

Focus on: 
Be Mindful of Sleep
Practice patience, with meditation
Integrate EO into cleaning and immune
Be Mindful of my body as a strong vessel that carries babies, feeds them and can be strong
Be Mindful of Food as Fuel

Organize drawings/pictures by kids
Put grandmother's recipes into cookbook
Start playing music again- As in the oboe. 
Learn how to use a real camera, get a real camera.  Take on line course in photography.  
Finish hanging things in the house
Renovate kitchen
Organize photos (specifically, photo albums, discs, etc.)
Implement use of Passion Planner

Complete the following:
Instagram Impact
Chalene's Push
John Maxwell Leadership Group
Franklin Covey Course
Know Myself Better
De-Clutter My Life
Cope with a Difficult Person
Quit Yelling at My Kids
The Relationship Challenge
Take a Camera Course
Workshop with Cara
Workshop with Gabrielle, Miracles

Read 40 books

Business goals:
$1000 per week
5 star Diamond
2 coaches per month
Move Nick to Diamond 
Circle of Excellence
Pay down debt (I've written these specific goals for myself)
Hire a cleaning lady by years end
Monthly pedicures

Fitness goals:
Complete PiYo
Complete Hammer and Chissel
Complete 22 Minute Hard Corp
Complete 3 5k races
Complete 1 5 mile/10k race
Complete RW Half Marathon
Certify as PiYo Instructor
Average 10,000 steps per day (Post baby)

Share a Knowing Smile and Keep Living

“Mother is not a title. Mother is a verb. It is not who you are. It’s what you do.” – Shonda Rhimes

I've been meaning to write this for months and months.  The seed was planted in my mind after having a conversation with a friend about how hard it was for her as a stay at home mom and the fact that her husband didn't totally respect what it took for her to do it all.  It was pretty obvious from my outside looking in perspective, that she would have been able to do his job, as a well educated experience woman, but he might not be able to do her job so easily.  I spent an evening giving her a pep talk.  Me, the working mom, was giving a pep talk to the stay at home mom.   According to the media working moms and stay at home moms shouldn't be supporting each other.  The fact is however that we're both moms and being a mom is hard whether you are "working" or "staying at home".  Both terms, by the way, are totally absurd.  As if someone who works outside the home works more or harder than a "stay at home" mom and the fact is I don't really know any "stay at home" moms who actually stay at home.

Like I said, I've been meaning to write this post for months but it finally took listening to Shonda Rhimes' book "The Year of Yes" to get me to sit down and write it.  That and reading a few other blog posts have inspired me to write my own commentary on the Mommy Wars.  So here it goes...

I think the mommy war is made up by someone.  I'm not going to blame the "mainstream media" because I don't know that its their fault.  I don't know who made up this idea of the mommy wars but I just don't believe it.  The fact is that I don't know any mothers that have enough time or energy to resent other mothers.  Maybe themselves.  Maybe they get frustrated, angry and resentful toward themselves but other mothers, not so much.  I suppose that's not entirely true.  I've heard of people being stressed by the pressure of Pinterest which I guess in its own way is a mommy war but that's really the crafty v. the non crafty right?  Not really "working" moms v. "stay at home" moms.

I don't know where this mommy war thing came from but I have my theories.  I think its about a generation old.  I think it started with our moms where there were women who fought the good fight for feminism and went out and got jobs.  There were women that didn't.  Of course that didn't make them any less feminists.  It didn't make the women who got jobs any less moms.  It did set them both up for a nice amount of resentment.

The fact of the matter is that it is hard being a working mom.  Or a work outside the home mom.  It is hard being a work at home mom.  It is just hard being a mom.  Those tiny humans are pretty much crazy.  It is hard being a mom and it is hard being a woman.  Whether you have children or not it is hard to be a woman.  Either way you're "punished" for just being a woman by making less money and being questioned constantly as to whether you will have kids or not or whether or not you will have more kids.  It is hard being a person.  Life is hard and we don't have time to worry about who has it harder.  Being a person is hard.  Being a mom is hard.

I listened to Shonda Rhimes and she called for an end to the mommy wars.  That we all should stop judging each other.  That we shouldn't assume that just because we are on "different sides"  doesn't mean we are on opposite sides.  We're really all in the trenches together.  I'd like to take it a step farther though.  Let's just not stop the judgment of others, lets stop the judgment of ourselves and lets support each other!

When my kids have a party at school I like to sign up to bring cookies.  Not store bought cookies but homemade cookies.  This is not because I think I am better than other moms.  This is simply because I like to bake cookies.  It was a fun thing my Dad and I did growing up and now its a fun thing to do with my kids.  Its an activity to pass the time.  I don't get fancy.  I do drop cookies because that's what I can make.  They like it, I like it, we're all happy.  If I don't sign up for the cookies I don't care if the person who does brings store bought cookies.  It really doesn't matter.  No judgment.  What I of course need to work on is not judging myself if I buy the store bought cookies.  I'm not competing against anyone but myself and perhaps I need to realize its not a competition.  And I think there in lies the problem.  The mommy guilt.  The mommy guilt we put on ourselves so much so that we assume other people care as much as we do about what we do.  I'll let you in on a little secret.  They don't.  We care if we bake homemade cookies or store bought (or maybe you don't but I guess you care about something else).  If you think that someone else is judging you in all likelihood are judging yourself.  Just let it go.  Let go of the judgment of yourself and assume that others are supporting you.  The fact is that they probably are. 

So I don't know where the mommy wars came from but I do have a feeling that mostly its a war against ourselves that we cast onto others.  Women need to support women.  Whether the women are mothers or not and whether the mothers work at home or out of the house.  Let's just celebrate, each other.  And if you're too tired to celebrate perhaps we just share some knowing smiles and keep living. 

I declare victory for today!

This saying could not be truer.  I suppose you could also say something like always find the silver lining for my day but truly appreciating the little things is what gets me through many days.  Obviously some days we have big magical moments but most of the blessed moments of my life come in the smallest of packages.  

By all normal judgments today has not been an awesome day.  I'm feeling less than well...lets be honest I have a stomach bug of some sort to the point that when my son asked if I was going to exercise I not jokingly said, "I can't sit up.  I won't be exercising."  My primary goal for today was to get enough liquids that I stayed hydrated.  

I'm normally on morning duty with the kids which I really enjoy for the most part.  I am a morning person and I don't need to set an alarm.  All good things.  This morning though I realized upon my sons request for milk, and my inability to easily get off the couch to bring hims some, that I would have to go back to bed and hand over morning responsibilities.  

I had help for dinner too but the big excitement in my house these days is bed time and I was flying solo for bedtime.  My patience was gone and my inability to snuggle hampered by my painful tummy.  I was not looking forward to bedtime.  I couldn't chase, tickle or snuggle my boys at all.    I wasn't sure how it was going to go.  So I started bedtime, extra, extra early in hopes that even a slow bedtime would get them to bed early.  By some miracle my kids went to sleep on the first try tonight.  I don't even know how that was possible.  Seriously, I don't know how.  It was like some form of magic.  It sounds like such a little thing but today it really was such a big thing.  

Moral of this story is to not wait for the future to look back and realize the little things are the big things.  Enjoy the victories, even the small ones when they happen because frankly, you'll appreciate them more now then in the future, looking back.   Today I barely stayed upright but darn it, my kids went to bed.  Success!

What a difference a year makes

I posted this photo on Facebook last night.  12 hours later and it already has over 70 likes meaning that in all of the end of year recaps on Facebook I will probably see this photo over and over again.  I almost did not post this photo.  I do not love it at all.  8 months pregnant and all I see is a lot of weight to lose and a double chin.  Or at least that was the first thing I saw.  About a year or two ago I think that would have been the only thing I saw.  I would have seen a woman who every day literally weights more today than she did before and the most she has ever weighed in her life.  Who has a closet full of clothing that when she has the baby and probably 3 months later and 6 months later still will not fit in to them.  2 years ago that is where it would have ended.  With being embarrassed about the photo that is on our town's newspaper's front page.

Fortunately for me and my self confidence yesterday that is not all I saw.  I stared at the photo a little longer.  I saw a woman having a pretty good hair day wearing her favorite necklace.  I saw a woman who despite being 8 months pregnant had rocked a great workout that morning.  I saw a woman on a much needed night out with her husband having fun with a group of relatively new friends in a town that although she has lived in for 8 years finally feels like a part of it.  (As someone who group in a town where you couldn't go anywhere without running into someone you knew I'm surprised to say that I missed it.)  I was also able to see the humor in a photo of a pregnant woman putting tickets in a jar in order to win gift certificates to a pizza and ice cream place. 

I don't know what this really says.  Perhaps it says I used to be too serious or too self conscious.  What I think is more likely is that over the last 2 years I have devoted a lot of time and energy to helping other people live healthier, more confident and more inspired lives.  It has caused me to get out of my comfort zone and made me realize a lot of things about life.  One of the biggest take aways is that we judge ourselves way, way harder than others judge us or even think about us.  The fact is that most people don't have the energy or time to be bothered or focused on someone else long enough to focus on their flaws.  In fact most people would much rather focus on the good things and be positive.  

The point of all of this, if there is one, is to encourage you to look beyond your self criticism and push yourself to see the positives.  All the wonderful things about you that the rest of us see.  Being self confident does not mean never seeing personal flaws, instead it means seeing all the wonderful things about yourself too.

Season of Gratitude

Courtesy of Curly Girl Designs

Have you ever thought about why a season of joy follows a season of gratitude?  There are the obvious reasons of course.  Thanksgiving was started by proclamation of Abraham Lincoln in 1863 as a national day of "Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens".  It was obviously at the end of the harvest.  Christmas is there because it aligns quite nicely with the winter solstice.  So perhaps there are wonderful reasons to have these holidays placed on the 4th Thursday of the month and on the 25th of December but really I think the reason is even greater.

Throughout the month of November I tried to focus daily on being grateful.  I like to think that I practiced gratitude because being grateful is not a one time thing and it is not an easy thing to do.  There are so many things to complain about but what I have found is its more effective to be grateful and thankful than it is to try not to complain.  When I focus on not complaining I focus on the negative.  When I focus on be grateful I am focusing on the positive.  

The strange thing about practicing gratitude is that you don't even realize the effect it has until you are in the thick of it.  Thinks are going awful.  The day is terrible and the next thing you know you're thinking of the good things about the day.

But back to joy.  Joy is something many folks look for during the holidays, including my family.  I imagine its why we wait in line for 2 hours to meet Santa or set up rides on "Santa trains".  We are searching for joy all the time from outside places but the fact is if you practice gratitude the joy will find you.  If you are thankful for the little things, enjoying the moments its amazing how joy sneaks up on.

Thoughts from Christmas vacation...

As this final day of vacation comes to a close I really can't decide if this vacation was better than anything I could have imagined or if I should swear to never do anything like this ever again.  All week it has been like that, back and forth between loving the moments and praying we make it until January 4th.  The kiddos have been home since Christmas Eve.  Really it hasn't been that long in the grand scheme of things, however there were moments that felt like it would never end.  A few things slowed us down a bit.  First, all the plans that we had made were canceled.  Whether it was a visit for the kiddos, play dates, mommy's night out, whatever they all got canceled for various reasons.  So for the most part it was the boys and I and occasionally Daddy joined in the fun.  To make it extra exciting we were all sick.  Not super sick, just sick enough that there was a lot of coughing causing poor sleeping, and big enough colds that I finally decided to stop attempting to put together play dates.  I also sort of through in the towel when it came to wearing clothes beyond pajamas.  One last thing pushed this home bound vacation over the edge.  This was the week decided to move our two boys into the same room together.  Bedtime into a very long process and naptimes were essentially non existent.  At least the part of nap times were I got time to myself.  The only way to get my little guy down was to have him in his home room and put locks on the door and to get my big guy to sleep required him be in a different room and with one of us, usually me.  The good news is that I got a lot of reading done during this time.  Nothing like nothing to do to get you to read good books. (Hope on Good reads and I'll share them with you.)

I didn't finish this post...in fact its 3 weeks later and I didn't even really realize that I didn't finish this post.  I am sort of glad that I didn't finish because now that I have a few weeks under my belt back in the swing of things I can tell you that the jury is in.  That week was a priceless, blessed moment in our life.  I would not change a thing.  Now if I can only keep that as a reminder on all the other days where the moments don't seem so blessed I'll be all set.

Setting goals! Making Vision Boards!

Did you miss our vision board party?  Don't worry!  Here are the steps that I outlined at the party for how to approach your vision board.  Its not a complete list but it is a good place start.

Tell me.  Do you use a vision board to help you focus on your goals and meet your goals?

If not, what's holding you back?  

Tip one: Figure out what you want your vision board to be. Inspiration. Goal centric. A combo.

For example I'm going to include all three of these visuals. I want to drink more water. I want to practice finding joy (which goes with my word of the year: engage). I want to take the worry away from money by being fiscally responsible AND increasing my income.

 Tip 2: Be specific.

The genius of a vision board is that (a) you are putting your wishes out to the universe but also (b) you are reminding yourself. The more specific the better.

How are you supposed to get exactly what you want if you don't know what that is?

Tip 3: Stay focused.

As you lay out your board it may be helpful to do it in bunches so you can look at one spot and be focused.

Tip 4:  When is your vision board focused on?

Figure out the time frame for your board. I like to keep mine focused for the next year but I do come across photos that are part of my 5 year plan that may happen on this board or go to a notebook I have to use later.

The photos on the left are for a new kitchen we are going to renovate in our house this year. The photos on the right have to do with my dream house entry way.

Tip 5: Be free!

There is no wrong way to do a vision board. Don't limit yourself. If magazines don't do the trick write your own. Glitter is fun. This is yours. Be proud. Be confident. Put the vision board out and look at it daily!

(Its still a work in progress but I'm so excited to get as far as this!)

Do you have tips that I'm missing?  Share them with us!

2016: The year to be engaged.

In my dream world I would go to bed earlier to get up an hour before my kids.  I would spend a few minutes meditating, then reading, I would workout while listening to personal development.  I would make a cup of tea and drink it before the kids woke up.  Then, probably in my workout clothing I would be ready to go and face the day with a positive and energetic attitude when the kids wake up.

In my reality world I go to bed too late just about every night so excited to get those extra few minutes at night kidless.  I'm sucked into books, projects or television shows with my husband.  I wake up as I hear the bedroom door open, frankly I usually wake up before then and wait to hear the bedroom door open.  At that point I grab my glasses and try to get whichever kid woke up first to go back to sleep or at least stay quiet enough as not to wake the other kiddo.  I have about 1.5 seconds to warm up from sleep to Ready-to-go Mom and Girl Boss.  I've decided that I needed a mantra or a word that would get me in the mindset that the extra hour of me time would give.  One word to focus me for the day and get my head right.  

This proved to be more challenging than I thought it would be.  For starters I have a lot of goals and a lot of things I want to get done in 2016 and although they do work together they don't exactly fit into one word.  On one hand I want to work on being patient and calm with my kids.  I want to suck up each moment the best I can and enjoy the little special times we have together, both these little ones and the one on the way.  On the other hand I have big goals from a business perspective and want to be fierce and focused and make this a big year for our lives and our family.  I will be stepping out of my comfort zone and I will be aggressive and I am ready to go.

So you see my dilemma.  Is there really one word that can focus me to do those things both the first thing in the morning and all day long.  Finally I landed on the word engage.  As in pledge myself to that moment with my children.  Focus myself to the task at hand.  (The more I read the more it is evident to me that we can't really multitask.)  Give attention to my goals and the people on my team that I work closely.  To take part in things greater than myself.  

I want to be engaged.  Engage others.  Give attention.

He said, "Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep really to sleep.  Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might and when you laugh, laugh like hell.  And when you get angry, get good and angry.  Try to be alive.  You will be dead soon enough." ― William Saroyan

Let's Review

Before I present my To-Do List for 2016 I wanted to evaluate my To-Do List for last year.  I like to make 3 month goals, 6 month goals, 9 month goals and 12 month goals.  I also do 3 year and 5 year goals.  Last year was a tough one with the long term goals because we didn't know if we would go for Baby no. 3 and my husband had a drop he didn't love and we knew a change was coming.  Now those things are a bit more settled I am really excited to get these goals on paper.  Before I do that though I need to evaluate how I did last year and what might need to be added for next year!  

Complete 2 Half marathons, 1 15k, 3 5ks, 1 10k  (All but the 10k are on the calendar.)-  Okay, I did 1 15k, 1 half marathon, 2 5ks...then I got pregnant.  Its not an excuse for everyone but its an excuse for me.  

Complete 21 Day Fix Extreme and Insanity Max 30- Done and Done!

Run 730 miles.- Sort of lost count and of course, I've lost the last two months with no running.  I have walked a lot I just don't have a way to keep track.

Walk 10,000 steps per day.- Working on it every day and will continue this in 2016.

Use all of my volunteer/pro bono days at work.- I only used 1.5 hours so this is once again on the to do list for 2016.

Involve my family in 1 community service project per month.- I need to sit down and make a list to see if we've reached this goal but I do not that we have kept this in our focus and for the month of December the Advent Calendar Countdown with Kindness was a huge bonus.  

Incorporate essential oils into our families lives, at the very least into cleaning supplies.- I know what I want and I just need to buy it. 

Create a dream board.- This was never made so its on the to do list for 2016 but that being said I have started working on it and I've begun making a list of what I want on it.  

Incorporate meditation into my daily routine.- Mediation is not part of my daily routine but it has become a small part of my life.  Still working on it. Gratitude has become a part of my daily routine and that has changed everything. 

Take better care of my skin, specifically, hands, face, and neck- Started using Derm Exclusive.

Organize boys memory boxes.- Check!

Update the baby books,- I'm giving myself to the 4th...must check this off.

Make the following photo books:  Alexander year 1, Year of 2014, Honeymoon, European vacation.- All but the European vacation is done!  Photos organized for 2015 as well.  

Organizing filing- About 75% of the way there.   

Start playing the oboe again- :( 

Complete Pop Sugar Reading Challenge- No and what I realized is that this has been too complicated.  I'll be re-evaluating a goal like this for 2016.  

10 minutes of Personal Development Each Day- Yes!  This has been amazing!

Complete nutrition/diet courses.- Yes!!!

Learn how to take good photos of the family with more than just an iPhone.- Nope. :(

Be consistent with posting on this very blog more often.- Yes!  (As evidenced by this post.)

On a side note, these are my personal goals.  My professional goals and financial goals will be in another post when I talk more about my dream board...or when I figure them out.  Well okay, here are a few.

Take my Beachbody business to the next level (One Star Diamond) by continuing to help others.- Yes!  I made it with two weeks to spare. 

Evaluate my current job to make sure I find it fulfilling.- Yes!

Pay off Private Law School loans.- Yes!

Figure out where the extra payment from the law school loans should go.- No but I finally have a budget I'm following.

Incorporate Dave Ramsey's Plan into our house.- Using Mint and some online sources to start this.