Season of Gratitude

Courtesy of Curly Girl Designs

Have you ever thought about why a season of joy follows a season of gratitude?  There are the obvious reasons of course.  Thanksgiving was started by proclamation of Abraham Lincoln in 1863 as a national day of "Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens".  It was obviously at the end of the harvest.  Christmas is there because it aligns quite nicely with the winter solstice.  So perhaps there are wonderful reasons to have these holidays placed on the 4th Thursday of the month and on the 25th of December but really I think the reason is even greater.

Throughout the month of November I tried to focus daily on being grateful.  I like to think that I practiced gratitude because being grateful is not a one time thing and it is not an easy thing to do.  There are so many things to complain about but what I have found is its more effective to be grateful and thankful than it is to try not to complain.  When I focus on not complaining I focus on the negative.  When I focus on be grateful I am focusing on the positive.  

The strange thing about practicing gratitude is that you don't even realize the effect it has until you are in the thick of it.  Thinks are going awful.  The day is terrible and the next thing you know you're thinking of the good things about the day.

But back to joy.  Joy is something many folks look for during the holidays, including my family.  I imagine its why we wait in line for 2 hours to meet Santa or set up rides on "Santa trains".  We are searching for joy all the time from outside places but the fact is if you practice gratitude the joy will find you.  If you are thankful for the little things, enjoying the moments its amazing how joy sneaks up on.

Wake up with a heart of gratitude...or find it along the way

Today I did not start the morning with a grateful heart.  It wasn't ungrateful.  I just forgot about being grateful and instead the day just started.  I was busy, hurried, and eventually frustrated and annoyed.  We weren't really running late until my kids didn't want to get dressed (the nerve of those toddlers).  I rushed them in the car and may have yelled, "Everyone stop talking!"  Of course I got questioned as to why I was yelling and it helped remind me that if I had a bad start to the day that would mean that my kids probably would too.  I faked a decent morning long enough for me to drop them off at school.  

Once I got to the car rental place my feelings of pretending it was a decent morning had drifted and I was back in frustration mode.  Then the rental company was a little slow and there was no place to park.  My EZ-pass wasn't working so I had to go through the regular lanes.  I was going to be 15 minutes late to my appointment.  Gratitude was not on the top of my mind.  

What happened next adjusted my thinking.  It was not some big epiphany.  Instead I did what I always did on my long drives.  I put on some personal development.  Nothing amazing like "how to be thankful when your morning isn't great".  No I just listened to some personal development.  Got in my groove.  Then I focused on my gratitude challenge.  Three things each day for which I am thankful.  At this point it was not easy but I started coming up with ones.  Like the fact that because of the EZ-Pass issues I was actually talking to the folks at the toll plazas.  Really nice folks actually.  

The practice of gratitude was changing my day.  Not that I learned to wake up with a gracious or thankful heart but that I put in place the tools to find things to be thankful for in my day.  That is when the magic happened.  That is when I finally found an opening for massage, that I really didn't want to spend money on, but desperately needed to get rid of my headache.  That is when my email was mercifully quiet today.  That is when my husband picked up the kids before picking me up at the rental car company so that our night could start early.  And the true miracle was of course that my kids went to bed without much fuss.  All these small blessings in my day because I had change my attitude.  I had opened the door to abundance.   

I give up.

A trip to Nantucket in 2006.

I'm not much of a quitter.  In fact, other than transferring schools in college (which isn't technically quitting), I don't quit.  I don't give up.  Until now.  Now, I give up.  I give up on trying to get my body "back".  There is so much talk everywhere, all day long, about women getting their body back after they have a child.  As if it went somewhere.  As if I lost my body somewhere along the way.

Well, if Jennifer Garner can say it, I can say it too.  This is my body.  Time to get used to it.  That's not to say that I'm just going to sit on the couch and eat bonbons (you know, cause I have all this time to do that.)  Its not to say that I'm going to stop exercising.  I'm just telling the world (and myself) that I'm not eating healthy or exercising to get my body back.  I give up.  

The fact is that I give up, because I don't want it back.  Don't get me wrong, that body was pretty awesome.  It could get me down a double black diamond ski trail.  It could participate in a few triathlons.  It could even run a few marathons.  What that body couldn't do, or what I wasn't sure if it could do, was have a baby.  For some reason, I always feared that I wouldn't be able to have a baby.  It was one thing in my life that always wanted.  So while that body was a pretty phenomenal body its nothing compared with the one that I have now.

7 months with Baby no. 2 (courtesy of Ronice Kay Photography)

I know not everyone wants to have a baby.  And this isn't to say anything about that.  Instead this is to just address me, worrying about getting into my pre-baby jeans.  This is to address myself who looks into the mirror with shame.  I'm done, I give up.

Instead I choose to exercise because I want to be stronger than I am today.  I want to be healthier than I am today.  I turn on a work out video with my two boys playing at my feet each morning so that they can see healthy habits.  I push them in a stroller day in and day out so I can run races, and so we can spend time outside together.  I eat healthy and my family eats healthy so we are all around for a nice long time.

Taken a few months ago as a "before" photo.  Let's be honest.  This is really an "after" photo.

Do I want to get back in my old clothing so I can avoid buying a whole new wardrobe?  Of course.  Do I care if I am the size I was in high school?  Of course not.  That high school body was good to me,but this body I have now is spectacular and I will no longer disrespect it by trying to get back to the old one.  

That's right.  I respect the strength and power of my current body.  I might not love the extra skin, or stretch marks but I love what they prove.  They are proof that this body of mine grew, housed and nourished two little boys for many, many weeks.  (Yes more than 40 for both of them.)  This amazing body of mine was able to do amazing things and I will not disrespect those who cannot do those things anymore, by lamenting over it.

I am awed by this body.  I have seen what it has already accomplished.  I can't wait to see what it can do in the future now that I know its strength.  I don't want my old body back.  I give up.

During a run.  A selfie. At this point most of my photos have two other little people in them.

Motivational Monday- Eternal Sunshine

In the spirit of the first Monday of August lets enjoy summer for as long as we can.  Savior each moment.  Be grateful for we will be in snow boots before you know it.

Motivational Monday: Be Grateful!

I (we) spend so much time trying to be better.  Be stronger, healthier, more organized, richer.  The list goes on and on.  All in the name of reaching goals that will make us happier or better.  What if we stopped all that.  Not the eating healthy or exercising or working hard?  Just stopped doing all these things so that we could reach the goal of happiness.  Instead what if we just tried to be grateful.  That's it.  Each night with my kiddos we pray and say what we are thankful for.  Instead of waiting for night I am going to start each morning this week thinking about what I am grateful for.  A challenge you to do the same thing.  Let's bring gratitude back into our lives.  A little gratefulness could make the journey so much happier.