Thoughts from Christmas vacation...

As this final day of vacation comes to a close I really can't decide if this vacation was better than anything I could have imagined or if I should swear to never do anything like this ever again.  All week it has been like that, back and forth between loving the moments and praying we make it until January 4th.  The kiddos have been home since Christmas Eve.  Really it hasn't been that long in the grand scheme of things, however there were moments that felt like it would never end.  A few things slowed us down a bit.  First, all the plans that we had made were canceled.  Whether it was a visit for the kiddos, play dates, mommy's night out, whatever they all got canceled for various reasons.  So for the most part it was the boys and I and occasionally Daddy joined in the fun.  To make it extra exciting we were all sick.  Not super sick, just sick enough that there was a lot of coughing causing poor sleeping, and big enough colds that I finally decided to stop attempting to put together play dates.  I also sort of through in the towel when it came to wearing clothes beyond pajamas.  One last thing pushed this home bound vacation over the edge.  This was the week decided to move our two boys into the same room together.  Bedtime into a very long process and naptimes were essentially non existent.  At least the part of nap times were I got time to myself.  The only way to get my little guy down was to have him in his home room and put locks on the door and to get my big guy to sleep required him be in a different room and with one of us, usually me.  The good news is that I got a lot of reading done during this time.  Nothing like nothing to do to get you to read good books. (Hope on Good reads and I'll share them with you.)

I didn't finish this post...in fact its 3 weeks later and I didn't even really realize that I didn't finish this post.  I am sort of glad that I didn't finish because now that I have a few weeks under my belt back in the swing of things I can tell you that the jury is in.  That week was a priceless, blessed moment in our life.  I would not change a thing.  Now if I can only keep that as a reminder on all the other days where the moments don't seem so blessed I'll be all set.

Soccer Mom 101: Grade Pending

Friday was my first soccer practice as a "soccer mom".  I'm not sure what I was expecting but it was so much better.  Considering the fact that the kiddos are at day care most days I don' really get to see them interacting with their teachers.  It was such a fun gift to be able to watch the boy run around.  Play with a soccer ball.  Listen to another grown up tell him what to do.  Who knew he could dribble a soccer ball?!  It was just so downright fun.  I forgot our water.  I forgot our chair.  I failed Soccer Mom 101 but the soccer practice was a huge success.  How do I know it was a huge success?  He had fun!

After a little reflection I've realized that this should be my  main goal over the next 18 years.  I don't know if he'll play soccer or any sport for that matter for 18 years.  He might join a bug club next year or take up classical piano.  Who knows.  He's 3.  What I do know is that I want him to have fun.  Yes, I know that life is about hard work and dedication but it is also about fun.  Isn't it more enjoyable to be dedicated to something that is fun? Doesn't hard work seem almost easy if you love it?  Sure, maybe he will be a mathlete like his mama and he'll really dislike all of his practices until the big show but he better have fun in those math competitions. He might not like his morning runs but if he loves running with a soccer ball I'm all for it!

Life is hard all by itself.  I don't need to make it harder by having him do stuff he doesn't like.  Also I will try not to make it harder by adding mommy drama to it.  I will try my hardest not to get caught up in issues of who is bring snacks and all of that other soccer mom stuff.  (Excuse me for talking about mommy issues I have yet to experience.)  My goal, for the next 18 years is to encourage the fun!  Lots of dirt and lots of fun!  If he looks back on his childhood and says, "I worked hard.  I got dirty.  I got messy and I had a LOT of FUN!"  I will think of it as a happy success.

Of course first I have to pass Soccer Mom 101 and remember the water next time...maybe even orange slices.

3 Turns to Find Myself

It took about 3 turns off the ski lift before I remembered why I missed skiing so much.  Last weekend I went skiing for the first time since I was pregnant with my three year old.  Skiing was the last thing that I hadn't done, but wanted to do, since becoming a Mom.  Sure, I liked sleeping in, but I've always been an early riser.  I liked being able to go out at night, but I've always been a home body.  Since having my kiddos I've been running again, to concerts, to brunch.  Life, has returned to relative normalcy.  Or the new normal.  The new amazing, wonderful motherhood normal.

While I missed skiing, and after years of skiing almost every weekend from December through April, I really missed it, it just never seemed to be worth the necessary planning that would go into getting me to a ski mountain.  Did I really want to bring a pump with me?  Was it worth not seeing my kiddos for a whole day?  We waited it out until a pump was unnecessary, brought the grandparents along, so we could see the kiddos for lunch.  It took a lot of coordination.  It took a lot of planning.

After 3 turns it was totally worth it.  In fact the moment I started putting on my ski clothing at home just to make sure it all fit I started finding the person that used to wear them.  I put on my ski boots and my helmet in front of my kiddo and he said "Mommy, you're a skier!"  Oh, that's right.  I am a skier.  As we pulled into the parking lot at the base of the mountain, it slowly started coming back to me.  Without thinking I put on my boots and all of my cold weather accessories (and there were a lot since it was about 0 degrees).  As we walked to the lodge I didn't even have to think about how to carry my skis, they just went where they always go and by the time we made it on the lift, I was almost back in the groove.

It took about 3 turns off the ski lift before I remembered why I missed skiing so much.  It wasn't the skiing, but the person I was when I was skiing.  I was cold weather loving and adventurous.  I was someone pushing my limits both physically and mentally.  I was a lover of the great outdoors and not just defined by the congested New Jersey area that I lived.

So much of my time after becoming a mother was spent redefining myself in terms of who I was as a mother that I forgot some of the who I was before I became a mother.  Maybe it was a defense mechanism that I forgot because I didn't want to feel bad or guilty.  Or maybe I just didn't figure out how to fit that person in with who I was now.  Its not as if I don't like the person that I am now, becoming a mother has been amazing.

But it took about 3 turns off the ski lift before I remembered who the person I was before I was a mother.  Down the mountain, that freezing cold mountain, my body remembered how to ski and because I had make the necessary precautions so I wasn't worried about my kiddos, I wasn't worried about my kiddos.  I was only concerned with the snow about 20 feet in front of me.  Finding the powder, finding the ice.  And like before, when my distractions were work or wedding planning, or something else, the snow served as my escape.  The cold weather was my challenge.

At the bottom of the mountain I told my husband that's all I needed.  One run.  Just a reminder of what I could do.

I was home.  The person I was before, was still there, she just was even better with skills she never imagined, like the ability to comfort a crying baby in the middle of the night on 2 hours of sleep.  Juggling two kids in Costco and come out with what I actually wanted.  My multitasking was taken to another level with kids making the simplicity of skiing even more calming.

It took about 3 turns to find myself and to realize I hadn't gone anywhere.

Things I Learned from Road Tripping with 2 under 3

1. The older child is easier.  Just like in the rest of life the older my son gets the the easier he gets.  We didn’t hear any “are we there yets?” from the big guy because he knew where we were going and we warned him that it was very far away.  Yes, he needed toys and reassurance and lots and lots of food but we could always hop him out of the car and play red light/green light or “find the tractor” as we were driving.  The little guy, while he slept more, was stuck in his seat unless we were willing to throw a blanket on the ground at a rest stop and let him crawl around (which was tough since he can’t actually crawl yet).  Lastly, he did not really get what Colorado was, only that we were trapping him in the car.
2. The older child is harder.  Just like in the rest of life the older my son gets the harder he gets.  Knowing that he would want to be sleeping or entered or fed something tasty meant that our car was packed to the gills with stuff.  He required fairly constant entertainment.
3. Potty training while traveling across country is crazy.  While totally doable, I could write an entire article on traveling with a potty training toddler.  Like, never put on shorts if the kid is happy in underpants.  One less thing to clean.  Make going the bathroom as unfun as possible.  They will want to go the bathroom but will eventually figure out it is a great way to just get out of the car seat.  As in “I want to get out of my seat.” “No.” “I have to go potty.”  Then as things get more boring we get more specific request.  “I want to go to a gas station to go potty.” 
4. You need less stuff than you might think…  I spent weeks, no maybe months, deciding what kind of toys I wanted for the kiddos to get them through the trip.  While there were a few toys that were completely helpful and great distractions, the majority of the toys ended up on the floor or literally thrown to the front of the car.  Thrown to the front of the car, with force.  As that became a consistent theme new toys, or toys at all were introduced less and less.  Instead we played a lot of “hey look at the tractor.”  “Did you see that air plane?”  I brought two newish toys for the hotel and we used one.  However, bad weather could have trained that so I’m sticking with my choices there.  As it is there were a number of toys I didn’t even give out because of the reasons stated above (the throwing) and thus I’m pretty much done with Big Boy’s birthday shopping. 
5. And more excitement.  When I say excitement, I don’t mean things you yourself would find exciting.  I mean the same thing toddlers find exciting at home.  Or at least toddler boys.  Rocks, dirt, trains, fire trucks, loud noises, etc.  I was so prepared for the rest stops and boredom that I forgot my audience.  At a rest stop, I was ready with paint brushes to paint the ground and horse shoes.  I actually packed a new game of horse shoes in the car.  What did I need to tire the toddler out?  A simple game of “Red light, Green light” or “Simon Says”.  Or even better “Can you run to that tree?”  That was the game.  Our stops were short and often (see No. 3 above) so we did not really feel the need to stretch the stops out, we knew the next step were not that far away.
6. It is a great adventure.  I’m always telling the kiddos “Ready for an adventure.”  Usually it is an adventure to Costco or Target or something to get them excited for our errands.  In the case of a long car ride if you think of it as an adventure you might be tricked too.  This will happen, both good and bad, but either way it will be an adventure.