I give up.

A trip to Nantucket in 2006.

I'm not much of a quitter.  In fact, other than transferring schools in college (which isn't technically quitting), I don't quit.  I don't give up.  Until now.  Now, I give up.  I give up on trying to get my body "back".  There is so much talk everywhere, all day long, about women getting their body back after they have a child.  As if it went somewhere.  As if I lost my body somewhere along the way.

Well, if Jennifer Garner can say it, I can say it too.  This is my body.  Time to get used to it.  That's not to say that I'm just going to sit on the couch and eat bonbons (you know, cause I have all this time to do that.)  Its not to say that I'm going to stop exercising.  I'm just telling the world (and myself) that I'm not eating healthy or exercising to get my body back.  I give up.  

The fact is that I give up, because I don't want it back.  Don't get me wrong, that body was pretty awesome.  It could get me down a double black diamond ski trail.  It could participate in a few triathlons.  It could even run a few marathons.  What that body couldn't do, or what I wasn't sure if it could do, was have a baby.  For some reason, I always feared that I wouldn't be able to have a baby.  It was one thing in my life that always wanted.  So while that body was a pretty phenomenal body its nothing compared with the one that I have now.

7 months with Baby no. 2 (courtesy of Ronice Kay Photography)
I know not everyone wants to have a baby.  And this isn't to say anything about that.  Instead this is to just address me, worrying about getting into my pre-baby jeans.  This is to address myself who looks into the mirror with shame.  I'm done, I give up.

Instead I choose to exercise because I want to be stronger than I am today.  I want to be healthier than I am today.  I turn on a work out video with my two boys playing at my feet each morning so that they can see healthy habits.  I push them in a stroller day in and day out so I can run races, and so we can spend time outside together.  I eat healthy and my family eats healthy so we are all around for a nice long time.

Taken a few months ago as a "before" photo.  Let's be honest.  This is really an "after" photo.
Do I want to get back in my old clothing so I can avoid buying a whole new wardrobe?  Of course.  Do I care if I am the size I was in high school?  Of course not.  That high school body was good to me,but this body I have now is spectacular and I will no longer disrespect it by trying to get back to the old one.  

That's right.  I respect the strength and power of my current body.  I might not love the extra skin, or stretch marks but I love what they prove.  They are proof that this body of mine grew, housed and nourished two little boys for many, many weeks.  (Yes more than 40 for both of them.)  This amazing body of mine was able to do amazing things and I will not disrespect those who cannot do those things anymore, by lamenting over it.

I am awed by this body.  I have seen what it has already accomplished.  I can't wait to see what it can do in the future now that I know its strength.  I don't want my old body back.  I give up.

During a run.  A selfie. At this point most of my photos have two other little people in them. 

First Friday Faves

This Friday Faves is focused on pecans.  Is there anything (other than pumpkin, of course) that you can add to meal to make it feel more like fall than pecans?  Its just not for pie either.  Here for five great recipes that can allow you to incorporate pecans into any part of your day.  


1. Sweet Potato Salad with Cranberries and Pecans

Photo courtesy of www.homesicktexas.com


2. Grilled Bacon Wrapped Pecan Figs

Photo courtesy of www.smokedngrilled.com


3.  Pumpkin Maple Pecan Granola

Photo courtesy of www.minimalistbaker.com


4.  Slow Cooker Cinnamon Pecans

Photo courtesy of www.therecipecritic.com


5. Cherry-Pecan Oatmeal Cookies

Photo courtesy of www.rachelraymag.com


Motivational Monday: Find your peace

Are you spending your days trying to find peace?  If only my life was more organized, or I had less errands to run or activities to do.  If only I could organize my linen closet it would all come together (Is that only me who has thought this?)  The fact is that it doesn't matter how simple or slow our life becomes, if you can't find peace in the chaos of life, you are never going to find peace in the solitude.




Clean Turkey Sloppy Joes

I don't know about you but our family gets into dinner ruts.  Not that this is entirely a bad thing.  Most of my usual dinners I can cook blindfolded.  Or with a two year old and two huge Labradors tearing the house apart or totally underfoot.  There are bonuses.  But I am also an adventurous eater and like variety.  So after eating pasta at least two nights a week (one leftovers) for about as long as I can remember, the last thing I wanted to make with the ground turkey breast sitting in my fridge was some more pasta bolognese.

A little pat on my own back, I also think I'm pretty good at looking at the random mishmash of ingredients in the fridge and coming up with something to make, and I also don't mind combining a number of recipes or working from none at all.  I'm not scared to try new things or come up with my own creation.  So last night I took that ground turkey and made some delicious sloppy joes, that just so happen to be pretty healthy too!


Clean Turkey Sloppy Joes

  • 1 pound organic ground turkey breast (or regular ground turkey)
  • 1 red pepper
  • 1 yellow pepper
  • fresh garlic (I used 4 or 5 cloves, crushed but I love garlic.....if you don't you may want to back this off to 1 clove!)
  • 1/2 tsp onion powder (I would have preferred to use 1 fresh onion, but somehow I didn't have one on hand)
  • 1 can organic diced tomatoes (I used one with green chilis)
  • 1 can organic tomato sauce (the pureed tomato kind, no sugar or anything else added)
  • 1/2 to 1 tsp ground cumin
  • hot sauce to taste (I used garlic hot sauce and used about a tablespoon, maybe more and it was nice and spicy)
  • Worcestershire sauce, about 1 tbsp (This is really the only non-clean ingredient in here, although it's not too bad....some added sugar.  You could eliminate it and use a tad more vinegar.)
  • 1 tbsp red wine vinegar (Again, adjust to your taste and add more if you think it needs it.  I mainly used the vinegar to cut some of the sugar flavor from the tomatoes and peppers without adding salt.)
Start by browning the turkey over medium heat.  While browning chop the peppers and onion (if you have a fresh one) and peel the garlic.  When the turkey is almost done but still a touch pink, add the peppers and onion.  The sooner you add the veggies they more mushy they will be.  The later you add them the firmer they will be.  It's up to you as to how much texture you like in your sloppy joes.  I don't like mine smooth (I don't like the veggies to turn to mush) but I also like them cooked through.  After they have cooked for a few minutes and are starting to become fragrant (I cook by nose a lot), add the crushed garlic into the pan (you can also mince it but I hate mincing garlic so a crusher is vital to my cooking).  

Side note about cooking with garlic, I always crush it about 10 minutes before I need to add it to what I'm cooking.  This allows a chemical reaction to take place that releases enzymes in the garlic that have all the good health properties and benefits.

Cook for another minute and add the tomato sauce and diced tomatoes (I drained most of the way before adding).  Add all the spices and sauces (onion powder if you don't have a fresh one, cumin, hot sauce, Worcestershire, vinegar).  Turn the heat down to medium low and let it simmer, stirring frequently.  The flavors will meld and the sauce will thicken.  Cook until it is the sloppiness you prefer.  I don't like mine runny so I cooked it until the sauce had thickened quite a bit.

Serve on whole wheat hamburger or hot dog rolls, or over brown rice, quinoa, or just eat it with a spoon.  I topped some lettuce with it today to make a salad for lunch and it was delicious!

Motivational Monday: Tomorrow Never Comes

Today I told my son he was going to school tomorrow.  He said that was not true because his teacher said tomorrow he didn't have to go to school.  Well, it was a different tomorrow.  That was my explanation to him, but it got me thinking about the concept of tomorrow and seeing as it is a Monday it was the perfect set up for motivation.  

Don't wait for tomorrow, because if you ask a 
two year old you'll know, tomorrow never comes.


 

First Friday Faves

This Friday Faves is an ode to all things fall.  Last month we talked about how to get into the summer spirit in case you were late to the party.  This month we're focused on what to do, eat and drink to join the fall party, and despite my love of the game this will be a football free zone.


1. Bake Cookies.

Photo courtesy of www.parentpretty.com

The weather is finally cool enough to turn on the oven.  I plan on turning the oven on and not turning it off for about 6 months.  Bake cookies for yourself, your family, friends or neighbors.  To really get in the spirit make sure some pumpkin is involved.


2. Light Candles.

Fall candles are probably my favorites scents and not just because most of them smell like pumpkin.  Once again the cooling temperatures make it possible to light a candle (in a safe place, far away from the kiddos).  


3.  Take a hike.


Speaking of autumn leaves and wonderful smells, get outside and enjoy viewing the leaves, smelling the leaves and hearing the crunch of leaves under your foot.  It won't be too hot, and the air is clear.  Grab the kids, the dog, a friend and get outside.


4.  Plant mums.


Nothing says fall like some mums in front of your house with a pumpkin or two.  The best thing about mums is that the word "hardy" is in their name, meaning even I have trouble killing them.  And while you're at it, plant some bulbs so you have great spring flowers.  

5. Drink something.

Photo courtesy of www.thealerunner.com

Drink something yummy.  Could be hot, like hot apple cider.  Could be cold, like a pumpkin beer.  Just drink something that says fall because no season has so many delicious options.  


Menu Plan: September 13- September 19

Photo courtesy of www.foodnetwork.com
You might notice that I start having a lot of "football food".  With the NFL three times a week its hard to keep up and stay healthy but we do our best.

Saturday:  Steak, Baked potatoes and Roasted Carrots (my treat tonight was to put Trader Joe's Blue Cheese Pecan dip on the potatoes.  Yum!)
Sunday: Ribs (in Paleo BBQ sauce from the freezer) with  Baked Spice Sweet Potatoes and Sauteed Kale
Monday: Super Sloppy Joes with whole wheat mini hamburger rolls, Sliced Tomatoes and Sweet Potato Fries
Tuesday:  Greek Chicken and ravioli and salad
Wednesday: Leftovers
Thursday:  Slow cooker bratwurst with roasted apples
Friday:  Chinese Food (unless we have too many leftovers)


In Memoriam

Today is a day that always brings me deep reflection and sadness, as it does for many people across the country. Here is my story....

13 years ago was the first day of classes of my senior year of college. It was one of those PERFECT days. Just beautiful! Cool, crisp air, deep blue sky with a few fluffy white clouds just along the horizon, warm sunshine. I was living in Jersey City, and although my roommates and I had taken the train route into the city a couple of times, this was the first of many times we'd be making the regular commute through the World Trade Center...or so we thought. 

We had left a little early so we'd have plenty of time to find our classrooms and lecture halls, so it wasn't a big deal when one of my roommates wanted to run back to our house from the light rail station to get her sunglasses (the sun was shining so bright after all). But I have often thought of this moment over the last 13 years....pondered how much impact this seemingly minuscule decision made on all of our lives that day. 

While we were waiting for her to come back a train came and went. So we waited and took the next one. Part way through the ride to the PATH station (the train that would take us under the Hudson to the station in the basement of the towers), people started to check their cell phones and a few people started to talk about how they just got news that a small commuter plane had hit the Trade Center.  It was an accident. Like when the plane hit the Empire State Building so many decades ago.  We could see a little smoke coming from the tower. 

Most people (like us) commuted into the Trade Center because it was such a large hub, but when we got to the station it was a mob scene outside and we decided to go a couple stops further and take a different PATH line into Manhattan. It would take a little longer but it didn't look like the trains were running very quickly into the Trade Center (it was on fire after all). 

There were only 4 or 5 of us left on the light rail. I distinctly remember a mom with her brand new baby. We were all staring at the tower with smoke starting to billow as the light rail went on. And then we all saw the second plane in slow motion strike the other tower and explode in a massive fireball. And at that instant we all knew that this was no accident. There were small screams and then just dead silence. The mom clutched her baby and sobbed silently. I've always wondered if her husband (or another family member) worked in the towers. 

In shock, we were all forced to get off at the next stop. All mass transit was being shut down. Our cell phones didn't work. Everything came to a screeching halt. We had no choice but to walk the miles back to our house. We didn't know what else to do or where else we should go. 

Along the way we stopped in a hotel to try to make some phone calls from the pay phone in the lobby to tell our families that we were okay but they wouldn't go through. The TVs in the lobby were reporting it was terrorism. Which we knew already. On our walk back people had their car doors open with news on the radio so everyone passing by could hear. We weren't the only ones making the long trek back home. We heard that the Pentagon was hit. We also heard rumors from people talking on the street that the White House and Congressional building had been hit too. And we heard that another plane had crashed in Pennsylvania. 

Our view of the towers was obstructed the whole walk back but we had a great view of them from our house. When we finally got to our house hours later, we couldn't see the towers because of all the smoke. We didn't realize it was actually because they weren't there anymore until we got inside and turned on the TV. 

We finally were able to get a couple phone calls out to our families and let them know that we had missed the train, that we weren't in the basement like their worst fears were telling them. My boyfriend (now husband) tried to come get me that night....I just wanted to get as far away from there as possible....but the roads were closed whichever way he tried to go. We listened to emergency vehicles scream past our house all night. And all the next day. Two days later he was finally able to get to my house. 

I by no means have the saddest or most horrible story from that day. But it is my story. And they are memories that will always stick with me. I always wonder what would have happened if we got on that first light rail train. And I always remember the families who did not get a call from their loved ones a few hours later. The events of that day,  and the days and weeks following were horrific. 

But I also try not to let hatred and fear win. I remember this day with sadness, but I also remember that it strengthened me. It made me focus on what was really important....not the number of 4.0s on my transcript, not some shiny awards and a piece of paper with my name on it, not the job I was going to get and the money I was going to earn. When I graduated a few months later I could have gotten a high-power, high-paying corporate job (that was the track I had been on). Instead I decided to take the road less traveled and start a business with my husband where we have been lucky enough to work together almost every day for the last 11 years.  That day made me even more thankful for my family and the love and hope we share. 

It made me realize that I took my future for granted and some people didn't see more than that day. I have always been stubborn and determined, but I wonder if part of my increased determination and unwillingness to give up comes from knowing that some people didn't get the chance to go on that day, but I did....and for their sake and in honor of their memories I need to make the most of what I was given. 

I will always remember. Never forget. 


DIY Fall Wreath


Fall decorating is my favorite decorating all year  (Even more than Christmas!).  I think its because it reminds me of apple cidar and all things pumpkin which I absolutely love. And changing leaves, soups and stews, football.  Really I love all things fall.  Each year I lament about the fact that wreaths are just so darn expensive.  This year I decided to do something about it and make my own wreath.  My first step to figure out what kind of wreath to make was to ask the world of Facebook for cheap and easy wreath suggestions.  My second step was to fall into the world of Pinterest.  This was my favorite wreath.  After a trip to Michael's where I bought more than enough supplies to make multiple wreaths I ended up with my own version.  (See Michael's loot below.)

This very easy to make Fall Wreath takes just a few minutes and just a few supplies.  I didn't even use all the materials pictured below.  While I'm using the wreath for my front door it could just as easily go on your mantle.  In fact, I'm using inspiration from this wreath to decorate my mantle.  

Fall Wreath Supplies

  • Wreath form – I used an 18 in. grapevine wreath.
  • Burlap ribbon –  I stuck with the traditional brown was but was seriously tempted by blue, red and green.
  • Berry garland (5 ft.)- There are so many different garlands out there but I tried to get a simple one.  
  • Wire and wire cutters
  • Scissors

Step 1
  • Attach the first ribbon of burlap to the wreath.
  • I laid the burlap around the wreath, and then used the wire to secure it every few inches.
Step 2
  • Add the next piece of burlap using the same method as before.
  • Attach the wire at different spots to ensure that there is overlap.  I also wove the second ribbon through the first ribbon.
Step 3
  • Weave the berry garland around the wreath and through the burlap occassionally.  
Happy decorating!!

Menu Plan: September 1st- September 7th

The Dainty Chef Sausage and Peppers

Monday: Labor Day Picnic
Tuesday: Leftovers (from the Labor Day Picnic and the concert Tailgate)
Wednesday: Leftovers (from the Labor Day Picnic and the concert Tailgate)
Thursday:  Slow cooker Chicken Sausage Peppers and Onions (Welcome back NFL!!)
Friday:  Paleo BBQ Chicken, roasted sweet potatoes and baked beans
Saturday: Leftovers
Sunday:  Birthday Party

A side note on leftovers.  Often times what is left for leftovers is the most unhealthy stuff.  What I tend to do in this case is add some veggies to the pasta dishes or as sides.  The leftovers last a little longer and things get healthier.

Motivational Monday: Trust the Journey

One of my daily goals is to read/listen to ten minutes of personal development and I must say that while I wasn't sure at first, I'm loving it.  We are two thirds of the way into 2014.  That's right, only 4 months left of the year, and dare I saw, the busiest 4 months.  That is no reason to throw in the towel on our New Year's Resolutions that we (me) haven't started yet.  Look back 4 months.  If you had started working towards a goal 4 months ago, where would you be now?  If you added 25 sit ups to your day or 10 minutes of reading each night, where would you be?  Start small and build, because life is fast, and small will be big if you just let time do its thing.




I have a confession...

I have a confession to make.  I love Pinterest.  When I first was told about this magical place called Pinterest I quickly said that I didn't need any more social media (I mean a few years ago before I got into Instagram and Twitter, I though Facebook was enough.  Silly me.)  I said I was perfectly fine thank you with googling for recipes or baby shower ideas and I could just send myself an email with the links, thus saving them forever, you know, old school.  Well I suppose old school is the box full of folders where I have magazines clippings of ideas from decorating ideas to recipes.  Either way, you get my drift.  I love Pinterest.

 I want to throw a "Little Blue Truck" birthday part for my son.  I just type the words "Little Blue Truck birthday" and I'm connected to all the other crazy mamas who have done the same thing.  That party was a Pinterest win but I've had plenty of Pinterest fails.   I'll admit that I've made homemade play dough (a snow day meant no driving) and I've used Pinterest to find Valentine's for my kids.  Some of these have been big fails but some of them have be absurdly cute.  As I write this I'm resting my feet on a coffee table that I made toddler friendly by covering in foam and fabric.  Does it look as good as the one on Pinterest?  Absolutely not.  Does it look good enough, did it save me money, and most importantly does it make my marble top coffee table much more child friendly?  Yes, yes and yes.

Just recently I decided to make a new autumn wreath.  I went to Facebook and asked my friends and got some good ideas but who really helped me?  Pinterest.  Of course, I haven't actually made the wreath so we'll see how much I like it after I try to make it.  (Wish me luck!)


My point, and I do have one, is that Pinterest, if used for the purposes of good, can be amazing.  I use it for what I imagine the creators had in mind.  First, I use it a place to pin all of my recipes, decorating ideas, etc.  Instead of emailing myself recipes they are all there.  Since by last count I have pinned about 1400 ideas, I would say I'm doing a good job at this.  Second, I use it to steal other peoples great ideas.  Why reinvent the wheel?  I'm traveling across country with 2 kids under 3.  Do I really need to make up my own time wasters?  Not if someone else on Pinterest has already done it.  


Now the purpose of this post is not to start some sort of discussion about how Pinterest puts all this extra pressure on women to be some sort of unattainable super mom.  I sort of figure if you let Pinterest bully you into feeling bad, well, you are just looking for an excuse to feel bad.


Me?  I'm going to go back to making my banana flavored food for my niece's birthday party.  I mean who doesn't love a place that allows you to simply type "Curious George Party" and you get hundreds of ideas.  I have banana rice crispy treats and banana chex mix in the works.  And when I'm finished there I might enjoy some time pinning about cleaning...I mean who actually wants to clean or organize I would rather pin!  Either way...

  I love Pinterest!


Things I Learned from Road Tripping with 2 under 3


  1. The older child is easier.  Just like in the rest of life the older my son gets the the easier he gets.  We didn’t hear any “are we there yets?” from the big guy because he knew where we were going and we warned him that it was very far away.  Yes, he needed toys and reassurance and lots and lots of food but we could always hop him out of the car and play red light/green light or “find the tractor” as we were driving.  The little guy, while he slept more, was stuck in his seat unless we were willing to throw a blanket on the ground at a rest stop and let him crawl around (which was tough since he can’t actually crawl yet).  Lastly, he did not really get what Colorado was, only that we were trapping him in the car.
  2. The older child is harder.  Just like in the rest of life the older my son gets the harder he gets.  Knowing that he would want to be sleeping or entered or fed something tasty meant that our car was packed to the gills with stuff.  He required fairly constant entertainment.
  3. Potty training while traveling across country is crazy.  While totally doable, I could write an entire article on traveling with a potty training toddler.  Like, never put on shorts if the kid is happy in underpants.  One less thing to clean.  Make going the bathroom as unfun as possible.  They will want to go the bathroom but will eventually figure out it is a great way to just get out of the car seat.  As in “I want to get out of my seat.” “No.” “I have to go potty.”  Then as things get more boring we get more specific request.  “I want to go to a gas station to go potty.” 
  4. You need less stuff than you might think…  I spent weeks, no maybe months, deciding what kind of toys I wanted for the kiddos to get them through the trip.  While there were a few toys that were completely helpful and great distractions, the majority of the toys ended up on the floor or literally thrown to the front of the car.  Thrown to the front of the car, with force.  As that became a consistent theme new toys, or toys at all were introduced less and less.  Instead we played a lot of “hey look at the tractor.”  “Did you see that air plane?”  I brought two newish toys for the hotel and we used one.  However, bad weather could have trained that so I’m sticking with my choices there.  As it is there were a number of toys I didn’t even give out because of the reasons stated above (the throwing) and thus I’m pretty much done with Big Boy’s birthday shopping. 
  5. And more excitement.  When I say excitement, I don’t mean things you yourself would find exciting.  I mean the same thing toddlers find exciting at home.  Or at least toddler boys.  Rocks, dirt, trains, fire trucks, loud noises, etc.  I was so prepared for the rest stops and boredom that I forgot my audience.  At a rest stop, I was ready with paint brushes to paint the ground and horse shoes.  I actually packed a new game of horse shoes in the car.  What did I need to tire the toddler out?  A simple game of “Red light, Green light” or “Simon Says”.  Or even better “Can you run to that tree?”  That was the game.  Our stops were short and often (see No. 3 above) so we did not really feel the need to stretch the stops out, we knew the next step were not that far away.
  6. It is a great adventure.  I’m always telling the kiddos “Ready for an adventure.”  Usually it is an adventure to Costco or Target or something to get them excited for our errands.  In the case of a long car ride if you think of it as an adventure you might be tricked too.  This will happen, both good and bad, but either way it will be an adventure.

Crazy S'more Blondies

Beware:  These delicious treats are not clean, nor are they healthy.  They are however, over the top yumminess, and easy.  They will also encourage you to day dream of all the other possible delicious combinations. I encourage you to make these when you know you will be with a crowd so you don't eat them all yourself.  

These were inspired by S'mores and these Crazy Brownies from the Pioneer Woman.

First, start with yellow cake mix. 

(The only thing sort of healthy about the whole dessert.)

Mix the dry mix with 3 eggs and 1 stick of melted butter.  It will be fairly dry, more like a cookie.
Crush small pretzels.  
Add crushed pretzels to the mix along with about 3/4 cup of mini chocolate chips.
Press half of your batter into a greased 8x8 pan.
Add a layer of peanut butter cups.
Fill in the spaces with mini marshmallows.
Put the remaining batter on top of the marshmallow layer.  Add one more layer of mini marshmallows and mini chocolate chips.
Baked at 350 degrees for 22- 25 minutes.  Let cool completely (no cheating) before cutting.

Recipe:

Prep: 15 minutes  Cook time: 22-25 minutes Servings: 16

Ingredients

  • 1 box Yellow Mix, 18 To 20 Ounce Box
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 stick Butter, Melted
  • 9 whole Peanut Butter Cups (regular Size, With The Paper Pulled Off)
  • 1 cup small pretzels (crumbled)
  • 2 cups small marshmallows
  • 1 cup mini chocolate chips

Instructions:
Preheat the oven to 350 F.
Put the dry cake mix in a large bowl and stir in the eggs. (Mixture will still be dry.) Next, pour in the melted butter, stirring gently until the mix just comes together (don't over-mix.)  Add crumbled pretzels and mini chocolate chips.
Divide the mixture in half and press half of it in the bottom of a greased 8 x 8-inch baking pan. Lay the peanut butter cups over the top. Sprinkle marshmallows into cracks.
Put the other half of the batter on a cutting board and press it into a square a little smaller than the pan. (It will be very sticky.) Cover with remaining marshmallows and remaining chocolate chips.  Transfer it to the pan and lightly press it to cover all the ingredients. Bake for 22 to 25 minutes, or until the batter is fully baked. Allow to cool completely, then place the pan in the fridge, covered in foil, for a couple of hours.
Remove the blondies from the pan in one piece.  With a sharp serrated knife, cut into small squares.
Find a camp fire and enjoy!