Capsule wardrobes are all the rage. Okay I don't actually know if they are all the rage but they were at some point, recently. One thing I loved about being pregnant was the limited options of clothing. It made life so easy. I always swore that when I got down to that ideal weight I would get myself a great capsule wardrobe.
Well, about two months ago I had the most uncomfortable day. I did not like what I was wearing at all. I wrote about it here:
Today was one of those days. Insecurities ran high. Self doubt. Comparisons to myself and others.
Most of the day was spent running the kids around. I didn't feel comfortable or confident in what I was wearing. I would see other moms who looked like they had it all together. Cute outfits. Not chasing all of their kids. I would do math in my head. "She had a baby a year older than mine so technically she's not doing better than me. Oh, she had a baby just 6 months ago. Look how good she looks." This was my day. Add on a 4 year old who would not listen. AT. ALL. and it was a long day.
Now before you go saying stuff. Let me jump right in and say what I was saying to myself as much as I could all day. I know I needed to hear it. Maybe you do too.
Just because someone looks put together and smiling on the outside doesn't mean they are. Everyone has their own cross to bear. Everyone has their own struggles. You can't compare yourself to others. You don't know their lives unless you have walked in their shoes.
And as for me. Well, I am strong. I am healthy. My body is miraculous. I would take every extra pound, every feeling of insecurity for those three special little boys. I am one of the lucky ones. I am blessed. I am not defined by the number on the scale or the size of my pants. I am my harshest critic and I need to be kinder to myself. I would never treat someone the way I was treating myself today so why did I let me. My arms can carry kids and groceries and give excellent hugs. My body is good for snuggles and my feet are perfect for chasing after little boys.
I am enough. Today. Today I am enough. No matter what my future size I will be enough. There is not if or when or butt.
I am enough. You are enough.
Of course I got a ton of great feedback and of course I felt good and empowered. But I still didn't like my clothing. I still didn't feel good and I knew I would spend the summer stressing about what I would wear Well, I have a friend who swears by just wearing black dresses every single day of the year. That might be too small of a capsule for me, mainly because I live in the north east where its cold in the winter. I did think there was something to this black dress thing because who doesn't feel good in a black dress. I already had some black dresses and I bought a few more cheap ones (thank you Old Navy and Amazon). I'm not going to lie I did have to learn about what to do with thigh chafing because a dress every day meant there would definitely be thigh chafing. Once I sorted that out I was off to the races.
And OMG it is amazing. Totally amazing. Any day I'm not working, and even some day I'm working, I'm wearing a black dress. Sometimes with flip flops. Sometimes with heels. A hoody. A jean jacket. A blazer. sneakers. Whatever. It is sooooo simple and amazing.
We will see how the summer goes but I think i'm going to like this. Once the test of the summer is over than we can go with the winter. I'm thinking a couple cardigans, a blazer or two, black pants and of course my black dresses.
Stay tuned...half way to check this off my 18 in 2018 list.